Script to Screen - script changes

For my script changes, Steve gave the feedback:

  • The dialogue "gets bogged down in a long static and wordy scene" 
  • I needed "more action and twist and surprise in the second half"
  • There "is no sense of development to her character"
For this, I chopped out a lot of the dialogue and replaced it for action that ramps up the tension in the scene. I realized that action can speak more than words, which is why I decided to make the changes that I did.

I added a bigger twist to the ending, where we find out that Carla and John were actually planning to murder Alice as they wanted to be together - I added this change as I wanted there to be a dramatic twist, and my original ending of Alice dying during her struggle with Carla seemed too basic, with the voicemail, it reveals a definite twist.

For Carla's character, I made her dialogue and spiraling emotions more apparent within the scene to make her character seem realistic towards the situation of seeing her lover's severed head in front of her.

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